Things I believe Adults should have figured out but I have failed

a.k.a Third world problems

1. Laundry
My laundry is like a growing baby. It puts on weight at a rapid pace and it is never coming down. I should have a game plan how to battle this monstrosity, but have been winging it. Needless to say, I have failed. As I type this, the bottom drawer of my dresser is filled with laundry and there is a pile near it. The rest of the room is clean, so mini-win. But no. I. must. not. squalor.

2. When to carry out trash
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not living in a hoarder-esque environment. I know very well when something is trash that I need to get rid of it. I just haven’t figured out how full is full enough in the trash-can before I take it out. This causes needless stress while I gauge.

3. Sleeping at a regular hour
My bed time varies between 10PM to 4AM. I’m still on college sleep clock. Some days are amazing. I wake up, get a cup of coffee, plan my day and am revving to go. Other days, I run out the door while frantically smoothing down my hair.

4. Planning my meals ahead
I wish I could come home and open my fridge and find a labeled container of healthy delicious food, complete with a mini-salad, fruits, nuts and a light main course. See how good my intentions are? I’ve made this happen a handful of times. The other times, my tummy rumbles, I get up and hunt down whatever I can find. Other days, I ignore my rumbles and let out the food monster, a crazed vengeful creature that will go out into the world and hunt down cheese.

5. Calling relatives on occasions
I really do mean to. I am fond of you. But I haven’t yet kept up with all the stuff we celebrate in our family. Sometimes my parents remind me to call and I think yes, I will be awesome and loving; and give you that call. But then I don’t because you know, the phone suddenly feels so heavy with the weight of the number of calls I have to make.

6. Gynecologist meetings
The idea of that duck like thing touching me makes me nervous. I will willingly sign anesthesia paperwork. If only that were legal.

7. Driving on a regular basis
“As bad-ass as I am on go-carts…”, she says, making an excuse for her incompetence. But I do love to drive. So this is should be easier to fix.

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